How are you doing today?

Lately whenever people ask me that question I always have to take at least a few seconds to think about my answer. I don't want to give a shallow "fine, thanks". Sometimes I'm really not fine, thanks. But sometimes I'm more than fine. Sometimes I can hardly contain the joy of knowing and experiencing God's grace in my life. More often than not I would say "I'm okay, thanks". Let me expound on that a little.

C.J. Mahaney likes to respond to that question with "better than I deserve". That is certainly how I feel most of the time. Over the past two years God has turned my life upside down. One after another He has brought situations into my life, for His glory and most certainly for my good. And I thank God for these trying times, which certainly feel like trials at times. God has stripped me of things I used to hold dear, things and persons I used to lean on. He has taken one thing/person after another, so that my only choice is to realize that He alone is my strength, my stronghold. I have the habit of building idols in my heart, of making people, including myself, my idols. I was just like Gomer, Hosea's extremely adulterous wife. I looked everywhere else for satisfaction, to have my "needs" (more accurately called "lusts of the heart") fulfilled. I left my God, my first love, to go after other lovers, thinking that they can fulfill my heart's desires, they can supply me with what I need. But it has been God who has been sustaining me all along, who has been keeping me from greater sin (as if the sins I've committed against Him were not grave enough). And now that He has saved me from the dominion of darkness and has made me a branch that is connected to Christ, God the Father has been pruning my life to yield more fruit.

Pruning is not a fun and light process. My sinful nature does not like to be pruned by God. So while being pruned or chastised, my flesh hurts and my pride is crushed. I honestly cannot say "I'm good" while going through trials which I know is God pruning me. I feel like crap (that might be an unChristian word to use) when my fleshly lusts and selfish ambitions are being denied. But I know and I truly believe that everything is happening exactly as God has planned and He is allowing things to pass to mold me into more Christlike submission and obedience to Him.

When I say "I'm okay, thanks", I mean that I'm a sinner saved by grace alone. I'm a forgiven sinner still struggling with sin in the flesh. I'm a saved sinner seeking to please my Lord with whatever I do, say and think, but constantly falling flat on my face. I'm a justified sinner in the process of being pruned, chastised, and sanctified, who still has a long way to go. I'm a sinner truly thankful for trials, who almost wants to ask for trials when times are smooth-sailing, for they have been God's means of grace of keeping me humble before Him and ever dependent upon Him. Who would've ever thought that we could be thankful for trials?