Theme of my song

Singing to the Lord!

2007-02-03T12:30:00.000-05:00

While reading A. W. Tozer's "The Attributes of God", I came across this paragraph that made me chuckle.

"Do you ever stop to think about the rapture? It's going to be something that's never happened before. You might be walking around on the street and hear the sound of the trumpet - and suddenly you're transformed! You won't know what to do or how to act. And the people lying in their graves, what'll they do? I know what they'll do - they'll sing! There's going to be singing at the consummation, on that great day!

'Thou art worthy to take the book, and to open the seals thereof: for thou was slain, and hast redeemed us' (Revelation 5:9) - that's the theme of the new song. The theme of the new song isn't 'I am'; it's 'Thou art.' Notice the difference! When you look at the old hymnody of Wesley, Montgomery and Watts, it was 'Thou art, O God, Thou art.' But when you look at the modern hymns, it is 'I am, I am, I am.' It makes me sick to my stomach. Occasionally a good hymn with testimonies is all right, but we've overdone it. The song of the ransomed is going to be 'Thou art worthy, O God.'"

What made me chuckle was Tozer's strong words, "It makes me sick to my stomach." I can relate to his frustration. I have written a few posts on my preference for hymns. Because of my tendency to be self-righteous, I was once very rigid about the style of music I would prefer in a worship service, and I once shunned contemporary Christian music altogether. By God's grace, I have realized how arrogant and prideful my attitude was, and have come away from that stance. Everyone has his or her own preference for style of music. But that's all there is to it, it's just personal preference. Some are more inclinced to express their praises and thanksgiving to God through hymns accompanied by the organ or piano only. Some sing praises to the Lord with raising their hands, even clapping, with an ensemble of instrumentalists leading the music. My thinking on this subject will continue to be molded and changed, I know. For now the conclusion at which I have arrived is that the style of music is not essential and does not matter that much. It's the content of the songs/hymns that carries the weight. Like Tozer said, is it all "I am"? Or is it centered on the triune God, "Thou art?" Are we singing of God's attributes and praises to Him? Or are we exalting ourselves and our emotions with the words? I have to admit that I still have some disdain for some CCM songs because of their man-centeredness and emotionalism. But praise the Lord! There has been a wave of musicians who have brought back the God-centeredness and Scripture-filled content into the churches (Keith and Kristyn Getty, Bob Kauflin and Sovereign Grace Ministries, Indelible Grace, Red Mountain Music, just to name a few). It's very exciting to see how God will continue to teach His people to sing praises to Him. In the meantime, let's keep on singing to the Lord!

"Happy Holidays"?

2006-12-09T21:34:00.000-05:00

This year I bought some cards with Monet's painting on it. Inside it says "Happy Holidays". A friend of mine, who received one of those cards from me, said that he's wondering now if I'm a raging liberal inside because the card says "happy holidays", rather than merry Christmas and such. He was just joking, by the way.

That's the thing, though. Are we afraid of mentioning even the word "Christmas" now? Why do people celebrate and what do people celebrate in December now? Christmas has become really just a cultural thing. We play Christmasy songs on the radio (even Christian radio stations) that sing of snow, coming home, Santa Claus, Rudolf, etc. We put up a tree in our living room with presents underneath. We run around shopping malls trying to find the perfect present. We go home for a week or two. We eat turkey (is that what people eat for Christmas? I'm not sure. In my family we eat Chinese food for any occasion) and sing carols (again, often about Santa and things). What's the point of all that really? Is it just a time to gather with family and feel loved by getting presents?

We Christians should all know what we are celebrating this season. Sadly, though, we often fall into the same secular sentiment this world celebrates. I always wonder why in the world Christian radio stations would ever play "Santa Claus is coming to town" and the like. Because I know my own tendency to go along with the secular sentiment for Christmas, I always intentionally stay away from anything that has to do with Santa. But it's really hard to find any Christmas cards now that doesn't have Santa, snowmen, reindeer, trees and things on it. It's even harder to find cards with a solid message about the Savior. Am I trying to excuse myself from having given a card that doesn't say "merry Christmas"? Maybe. Honestly I just really liked the Monet paiting. But I'm also ranting about the lightness we attribute to Christmas now. If we really spend some time meditating on the birth of Jesus, how can we be not amazed? God the Son, the Creator of the heaven and earth, became flesh, and was born or Mary, a virgin! No miracle is greater than that! If we really think about the amazing love God has shown us through the birth of Jesus Christ, how on earth would we still want to celebrate Santa Claus is coming to town? I hope in the midst of all the craziness that is almost inevitable this season we will take time to be in God's Word, thinking upon and be amazed by the glorious miracle of Jesus' birth.

Rethinking my loyalty to "Gilmore Girls"

2006-09-28T18:35:00.000-04:00

Confession. I watch "Gilmore Girls" regularly. In fact, I have been watching the re-runs almost everyday while eating dinner. It's very tempting to just plop myself into the couch in front of the TV after a long day and veg out for an hour. And apparently I give in to that temptation almost everyday...

But I have been wondering if I should continue in this pattern. For one, this simply is not the best use of my time. Those hours spent on watching the show could have been used for many other things (reading, cleaning, exercising...) that are much more beneficial. The unproductive use of the hour alone should have stopped me from watching it.

Another reason is that I realized that underneath the innocent, warm and sweet guise of the show is the blatant manifestation of immorality, falsehood, sin. If you have not been following the show, here's a very brief synopsis. Lorelai, a young, witty, attractive single mom, lives with her daughter, Rory, in a small town. Lorelai had Rory out of wedlock when she was only 16. They share an unconventional mother-daughter relationship, as they are each other's best friend. Basically the show revolves around these two characters, their work, school, friends, townspeople, Lorelai's parents, and most of all, their relationships with men.

What kind of message is the show really displaying? For one, it's exalting extremely flawed parenting. Lorelai hardly ever disciplines Rory, because, as she openly admitted once, she's afraid that Rory might get mad and their "friendship" would be damaged. So Rory gets an "aw...it's gonna be okay" after she had sex with Dean, an ex-boyfriend who was married to someone else at the time. Fornication is portrayed as the norm (and it sadly is this day and age). The show paints a self-righteous, ridiculous picture of Christians and God. And yes, you can count on the show to promote feminism. Both Lorelai and Rory initiate relationships with men. Neither of them are domestic (Lorelai doesn't know how to operate most kitchen gadgets for that matter). Oh, and Lorelai proposes marriage to her boyfriend, Luke. The female characters in general are portrayed as strong, independent, assertive, while the men in general as whimpy, clueless and passive.

All those things I mentioned and more, however, are quirks that attract and appeal to its viewers. A fellow seminarian, Owen Strachan , has written a few posts on the weak manhood represented in Hollywood. I agree with his take on that completely. As for the ladies, Hollywood has also painted an obscured picture of womanhood. Without exception (at least, I can't think of one right now) all the leading female characters on TV resemble Lorelai and Rory in many ways. Hollywood "celebrates" women's freedom in choosing their own boyfriends or sexual partners. Lack of homemaking skills is a sign of one's sophistication and an asset towards career success, which is on top of the priority list for most. Marriage and family take a backseat to social life and career pursuit. Sure, those women, like Lorelai and Rory, are feminine. But the femininity they represent is almost the complete opposite of the womanhood that is taught in Scriptures (Owen, by the way, has also written about women's role as homemakers. Check it out.)

Owen asked this question in his post, Men looking stupid--and society rewarding them, "Hollywood has had its say about men. Have you noticed their whispering? Or did you, like me, soak it all in without even noticing?" I want to ask the ladies the same. Have you, like me, soaked it all in without even noticing the immoral, feminist and blasphemous teaching disguised in the shows you watch?

Take a break

2006-09-21T00:08:00.000-04:00

I have an OT test tomorrow, and I do need to be studying right now. But I couldn't help but wandered onto some blogs for a study break. And this is what I stumbled across on Discerning Reader. I laughed my head off. Take a look, especially if you're studying.

Perhaps we ought to be different

2006-08-29T16:47:00.000-04:00

This past weekend I found myself in a situation that brought great anxiety and disturbance to me. I was confronted with, again, the question of whether we as seminary students are different. I was confronted with disappointment that many of us are not any different from the rest of the world. I witnessed the lifestyle of some seminarians that is just the same as the world. In my last post I asked the question whether seminary students should be different from the rest of the local congregation. After reading some people's comments and further pondering on this question, I've come to believe that while we should not be considered any more "sanctified" or special, there should be more expected of us.

The reason what I witnessed this past weekend greatly disturbed me is that I've seen a pattern in many seminarians' lives of a prolonged college lifestyle. We treat our dating relationships with casualness, just like the world does. We party the night away with shallow social exchanges, in an atmosphere that strangely resembles the "Hookup culture" . Why do so many of us come to a seminary where one studies the Bible in an academic setting, and conduct our off-campus life in a manner that really cannot be distinguished from the rest of the world?

I must confess and repent of my judging heart. I have sinned as I judged my fellow seminarians in their behaviors. I am definitely not the one to judge on how a seminarian should conduct his or her life. But I would like to encourage fellow seminarians and future seminarians to examine their own heart. Why are you at the seminary? How are you glorifying God and setting an example for church members, who are watching closely, by your lifestyle and relationships?

"Therefore be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise, making the most of your time, because the days are evil." Eph. 5:15-16

In the latest 9Marks newsletter Owen Strachan, a student at Southern, wrote an article called Doing Seminary Well. I found this article very convicting, yet encouraging. There's much to be learned from it. Read it. May it be a valuable lesson to you as it is to me.

Are we any different?

2006-08-21T00:58:00.000-04:00

Are we seminary students any different from the rest of the congregation? In a local church should those who attend seminary be expected to do more? Should we be considered the "cream of the crop"? Should it be assumed that we should teach and lead simply because we're in seminary? What is our role in the local church? Are we any differnt?

An issue came up at church today, and those questions have been racing through my mind. We are being trained and equipped formally in preparation for ministry. We are in seminary because we have the desire to serve perhaps in a fuller capacity, and we possess a level of maturity that our churches have deemed suitable for ministry (hopefully). We may obtain more knowledge on various subjects, such as church history, biblical languages, etc. We are different in that aspect. However, I personally don't think that we should be treated any differently from any other member in the congregation. Certainly we should not be perceived as the "cream of the crop" (someone at church actually referred to us by that). Yes, we are getting theological education in a more intensive and formal setting. But systematic theology and church history are not exclusive subjects to those in seminary. Pastors and teachers should be teaching doctrinally sound theology from the pulpit and in Sunday school classes. Congregations should be fed with biblical theology whether they're seminary students or housewives. Members of the local church can certainly benefit and grow in faith through learning of the lives of early church fathers and the Reformers. It's tempting for us seminarians to think that we're above others, or even that we've arrived. Being worshipped (that may be too strong of a word) or paid special attention and reverence by fellow church members certainly does not help us cultivating humility.

Every church member should be encouraged to be involved in some capacity of ministry, public or behind the scene. Serving is doing something when there is a need. It was suggested that if we have any desire for a particular area of ministry, we would be encouraged to inform the leadership and just do it. I agree that if we see a need in the local church we work with the leadership to meet that need. I would be against it if we start a new ministry to meet our own needs, our need to practice for future ministry, our need for a class credit, our desire for a particular ministry whether or not it's appropriate or needed at this church, or our need to show off our education. Of course no one is going to admit that's their intention in doing ministry. But let's be honest in examining our intentions. Doing ministry should always be for God's glory and for the benefit of the church; it should never be for our own glory and our selfish gain, whether you're a seminarian or CEO.

Also we shouldn't assume that every seminary student is fit to teach and be in leadership position. We may have the head knowledge, but many of us, in fact, a growing number of seminary students are fresh out of college without much life experiences (I'm including myself in this category). We are all in different places in life, maturity level varies greatly from one person to the next. The title of a seminary student does not warrant wisdom and maturity, sadly.

On the other hand, I know someone, a fellow seminarian, whose personal conviction is that he's in a season to learn and to grow. Therefore, instead of seizing an opportunity to serve even when the need is rather urgent, he is going to pass and focus on learning and receiving. I may sound a little bitter. But I simply cannot wrap my mind around this argument. You just can't segregate your life like that. You're always called to serve; you're always a part of the body of Christ, whether you're in school or retired. What do you have that you have not received? We as seminary students have this great privilege to receive formal theological training. I believe we are receiving more. Why hold on to it instead of sharing with brothers and sisters while you can?

It's tricky I find. While I don't think we should assume leadership and teaching position simply because we are in seminary, and while I dont' think we deserve any special attention and treatment, we do need to be mindful of the blessings from God through our seminary education. Share the blessings wisely and generously with brothers and sisters.

I may have been rambling on. I may have been ranting a little. I apologize to my fellow seminarians. Please know I didn't mean any disrespect. Any input will be welcomed, and feel free to correct me.

Some back to school thoughts

2006-08-14T00:17:00.000-04:00

Classes begin tomorrow. The most popular question this past week has been, "Are you ready for school?" YES! Call me a nerd if you wish. I like going to classes. I love my studies at the seminary. I enjoy reading a lot (but because of my lazy nature, I appreciate the assigned readings in each class that keep me accountable). Once in a while I even enjoy writing papers. Seminary has been a tremendous experience. Southern Seminary has one of the best faculty in my opinion. When I think about my time here at Southern I'm always amazed by God's grace in leading me here.

At the beginning of each semester I'm always eager to see and learn what God will teach me and how He is going to mold me, not only through the academic training from the seminary, but also through ministry, relationships, work, and more. He's never failed to surprise me each semester with unexpected turns and sometimes trials in my personal life. And He's never failed to grant me more than sufficient grace to come out walking even more closely to Him. This semester will not be any different I suspect. Already there are new challenges and new responsibilities in ministry. And looking at my track record there will be issues that I'll struggle with. Somehow I am excited about those struggles and challenges. I've had some of the sweetest communion with God through difficult times.

By God's grace (I'm not taking this phrase lightly, I do recognize that it is God's grace alone) I've had one of the most amazing and fruitful summers. Having spent most of the first 24 years of my life with my grandparents and having seen them age and deteriorate rapidly these couple of years, I'm truly thankful for the 5 weeks I spent at home in Vancouver with them and my parents. I cannot express adequately with words how much I enjoyed and appreciate my trip home this summer. I also visited a Sovereign Grace church in Vancouver ( Crossway Community Church ). Although I didn't have time to establish any relationship at that church (Lord willing, someday I'd like to), I was encouraged and learned much from their Sunday services. Then I went to Indonesia. If you're interested in reading a bit about my trip you can go here . In a nutshell, it was a wonderful trip.

Now that I've recapped my summer I'm even more ready for the new semester!

And the time has finally come

2006-07-14T10:57:00.000-04:00

I was tossing and turning in my bed last night well past 1 am. This day has finally come. After months of preparation, we're leaving for Southeast Asia this afternoon. I realized that the reason I'm so excited about this trip is how much I've seen God work wonders even throughout the preparation process. Surely I'm not the only one who was able to have all the expenses provided for. But I thank God for allowing me to be aware that He is the One who has removed all obstacles and provided all my needs for the trip so that it's even possible for me to go. There are brothers and sisters who want to go on a mission trip, but cannot due to various reasons (financial difficulty, schedule conflict, etc.). It is such a privilege to participate in this unique work of sharing the gospel with people on the other side of the world. I am in fact the beneficiary of this trip. I'm not going to Southeast Asia to "suffer" for Jesus. I'm not sacrificing anything. I'm not there to be reminded of how "blessed" I am to live in North America. No. I am about to witness God's power, His greatness, His love, His compassion, His redemption, the Great Commission being carried out among a different people group. I will benefit so much from this trip I even feel like I don't deserve to go. But He has made it happen for me. So all praise, honor, glory and thanks be to God alone!

2006-07-11T18:35:00.000-04:00

"Then the proconsul believed, when he saw what had occurred, for he was astonished at the teaching of the Lord." Acts 13:12

The proconsul, Sergius Paulus, had just witnessed something incredible. The Jewish false prophet, Bar-Jesus, was blinded by mist and darkness after Paul rebuked him for seeking to deceive and turn the proconsul from the faith. A seeing man suddenly gone blind, that would certainly be something out of the ordinary. But what struck me as I read this passage is that the proconsul believed because he was astonished at the teaching of the Lord! Surely he must have been amazed by the miraculous power Paul possessed. It was, however, the teaching of the Lord that led this man to the saving faith. This has been my prayer, that as we do any kind of mission work or disaster relief, what captures people's heart and mind would not simply be the outward physical work we do. Rather, let the word of God's truth that He has laid on our heart and put on our lips be the message that transforms lives and gives true hope.

He rescued me

2006-06-26T19:46:00.000-04:00

I never wanted to follow Jesus
I never wanted to follow Jesus
I never wanted to follow Jesus
He rescued me
He rescued me

No turning back, no turning back...

(from Red Mountain Music album "Depth of Mercy")

Sovereign Grace in Canada

2006-06-25T20:56:00.000-04:00

A while ago I found this church, Crossway Community Church on Bob Kauflin's blog. To my surprise and delight, this church is located in Surrey, British Columbia, where my parents have made their home. I decided to check out this church while on vacation at home this summer.

And so I did. Crossway is affiliated with Sovereign Grace Ministries. After reading their statement of faith and values I was already encouraged and excited before I ever visited the church. Now that I've been to their Sunday services for the past month, I am even more encouraged and excited that such a gospel-centered local church exists in Vancouver! You must understand, the general atmosphere in Canada is so liberal. Sure you can find individuals who are passionate for the gospel and who are orthodox in their doctrinal beliefs. But for the church body as a whole, it's hard to find a local church that is truly gospel-centered, orthodox in their beliefs and values. Besides, life is so comfortable here, it's easy to slip into complacency and apathy. From what I've witnessed in their Sunday morning services (I haven't made it to their care groups) these brothers and sisters exhibit genuine passion for the Lord. They seem genuine in their passion for the transforming power of the gospel of Jesus Christ. And the leadership of the church has been faithful in delievering gospel-centered, expository messages to nurture the body. It was refreshing to worship God with this vibrant bunch, who are more (way more) charismatic or expressive than my fellow Baptists in their praises to God.

I was so thrilled to find this line in their statement of faith, "Women play a vital role in the life of the church but in keeping with God's created design, they are not permitted “to teach or to have authority over a man” (1 Tim. 2:11). Leadership in the church is male. In the context of the local church, God's people receive pastoral care and leadership and the opportunity to employ their God-given gifts in his service in relation to one another and to the world." I mean, all other items in this statement are encouraging to read. But to find a church that is faithful to the teachings of the Scriptures in the midst of a culture that is so worldly and corrupt, it's like finding a stream of living water in a dry and parched land.

I've been reminded, after partaking in this charismatic church, that we are brothers and sisters in Christ. We are united in partnership in and for the gospel of Christ, to the glory and praise of God!

Grandma's stories

2006-06-21T01:46:00.000-04:00

My grandma is an excellent story-teller. She used to tell all sorts of stories, some fictional, some from her own life, every afternoon after school when I was growing up. She doesn't tell as many stories now, and she doesn't tell bed-time stories to me anymore. But she still tells stories from her past. Chinese people from my grandparents' generation had it rough when they were young. Many of them went through at least two wars, one against the Japanese and then the Chinese Civil War. While my grandpa fought in the army, my grandma retreated (or fled is more like it) with the Kuomintang Party to Taiwan in the late 1940's, being pregnant and having to carry a one-year-old son, an elderly mother and some relatives along with whatever possession they could take. It's impossible for me to retell what my grandma has told me over the years. The experiences she went through are more dramatic and unbelievable than Hollywood war-time movies. They witnessed history-making of such significance as the shift from Qing Dynasty to the Republican to the Communists. They were part of that history-making. They are the real people who had to suffer and endure real hardship, hardship that people my generation cannot even begin to imagine. What's sad about people like me is that we have such wimpy tolerance for trial and suffering. We take the comfort we have for granted, having forgotten that real people like my grandparents fought and suffered and bled for this comfort.

God has blessed me with such wonderful grandparents and being able to live with them (or near them) for most of my life. I get to witness and experience history second-hand through them. If you have elderly people in your lives, ask them their stories. There is great wealth of history. There is much to glean from their extraordinary experiences. And what better way to spend the afternoon with grandma?

Compliment of the day...or not?

2006-06-18T00:06:00.000-04:00

Today at a sports clothing store the sales person asked me THE question that can be taken either incredibly well or very badly, "Are you taxable?"

Let me explain first. In British Columbia we pay two taxes, one provincial and the other federal. And for children under 16 they pay only the federal tax for clothing, etc. At the store today I was tempted to say to the well-meaning gentleman, "Thank you. But I've been taxable for 10 years."

Now you understand my dilemma. In fact, I'm in similar situations rather frequently. At the seminary I'm often mistaken for a Boyce College student. At the church I've been asked "What grade are you in?" several times. I never mean to play cute or even hide my age. I understand that we Asians tend to look younger than we actually are. But I don't really know how to take it when I'm mistaken for a high school student. Is it the way I dress? I have been trying to build a more mature wardrobe. It just doesn't make sense for me to dress up all nice and formal for going to classes and Friday night Bible study. Actually if it's the way I look, I don't really care and I can't really do anything about it. I've come to accept that my babyfat may be with me till the day I die. And more than anything else, "Comfort is everything" has been my motto in choosing clothes. On the other hand, if it's the way I act and talk, then we have a serious problem.

Whenever awkward questions like "What grade are you in?" come up, they always give me a reality check. Am I acting flippantly? Do I use "like" too much in my speech? Am I being too timid? What kind of image do I convey through my action? I still have a long way to go apparently. Hey, if you have any pointers for how a mid-twenties female should act, your input would be greatly appreciated.

"Gift" of singleness?

2006-05-18T21:05:00.000-04:00

I wandered into the book store earlier this week, looking for a Piper book. But stumbled across this book instead, Getting Serious About Getting Married: Rethinking the Gift of Singleness. After reading the introduction I was so intrigued I had to buy it. I haven't finished reading it, about half way through. It has, however, already rocked my world a little. In fact, along with Dr. Mohler, I would recommend this book to whoever is reading this blog, whether you're single or married. I'm not going to summarize the book (since I haven't finished reading anyways). Let me just share a little reflection from the reading so far.

I've always been rather reserved or passive when it comes to discerning God's will. Case in point, I have not been able to say with confidence that marriage is God's will for me. The reason for that hesitance is purely circumstantial. I'm still single in my mid-twenties, perhaps it's God's will for me to stay single the rest of my life? Perhaps He's given me the "gift of singleness"? Debbie Maken, the author, would give an emphatic NO!

First of all, she argues that "singleness" is not a gift. The church's teaching today has erroneously equated singleness with the gift of "celibacy", or removal of sexual desires. If singleness was a gift, why then do most singles receive this "gift" with grumbling and angst, desperately looking for the gift receipt? I have been counseled by some that I need to learn to be content with my singleness; I need to accept that perhaps God has called me to lifelong singleness. And trust me, I have tried and tried and tried to suppress my desire for marriage. I have given myself the talk "I'm better off being single", "I can do so much more ministry and stuff in life being single", or "I just don't have time for that right now". And I have been very upset and frustrated with myself many times, when that desire simply will not go away. I have thought myself weak and unspiritual for being distracted by that desire. But am I sinning by desiring marriage? Or am I simply feeling that desire naturally by God's design?

In Genesis 1:27, God created man in His own iamge... "male and female" He created them. The male-female union reflects God's image far better than either sex individually, and it is for His glory. Maken argues that it is God's will for people to marry. She says,

Often I hear singles fret, "But I don't know if it's God's will for me to get married After all, if it was God's will, wouldn't I be married by now?"... what it's boiled down to is that because they're not married now (and often don't see any prospects in the near future) they conclude that God must not want them to get married... God's will is not dependent on your circumstances or our culture or the guy you dated last year, last month, or last Friday night. God's will is dependent upon God alone and is revealed in Scripture by what He's declared to be His divine intention.

I'm very guilty of fretting and giving that statement above. But after reading and thinking over Matthew 19:4-12 and 1 Corinthians 7, I don't think I fit that category of being exempt from marriage. I'm not living in an age of famine or persecution (which is the background for 1 Cor. 7). I don't feel "called" (spiritually, practically, logically) to serve in an environment, such as some closed, war-ridden country in the middle East, where if I were to have a family their lives would be in danger. And honestly speaking, the ministry I'm being trained and prepared for (counseling, women's and youth ministry) can be done even more efficiently if I were married. So my current and future ministries simply cannot be used as an excuse for my singleness. Maken gives a careful exegetical study on those two passages. I'm not trying to sell this book, but I would encourage us to examine those passages and the rest of the Bible on this issue.

Long story short, I'm still mulling over Maken's writing. For sure my view on singleness and marriage has been challenged. And I have been challenged to examine the Scripture more carefully regarding marriage, biblical manhood and womanhood. What's been confirmed in me is that I do desire marriage, and I seek a marriage that will honor and glorify God far better than I can by myself. Maken suggests that while men are supposed to take the initiatives, there are things Christian women can do to change their single status. I haven't gotten to that part yet. Guess I'll have to read on.

Attitude check

2006-04-21T14:25:00.000-04:00

I admit that when it comes to Christian music my personal preference is definitely hymns. In a previous post I've expressed my sentiments. I also admit that my attitude during some worship services or congregational singing has crossed over from being discerning to being critical or even judgmental.

I find this article by Bob Kauflin very helpful.

I can use my ability to discern as a means of exalting myself. “Look at everything I noticed!” I can think that not singing a certain song makes me more spiritual, or look disparagingly at those who sing it. Unfortunately, I have been wrong about things I’ve “discerned” so many times, I lost count years ago. God simply asks us, “What do you have that you did not receive? If then you received it, why do you boast as if you did not receive it?” (1Cor. 4:7) If my discernment IS right, I should thank God and remember that He sees infinitely more than I do...

That doesn’t mean I can’t ask questions, offer observations, or engage in fruitful dialogue with a leader. If I happen to BE a leader, I have a responsibility to point out inconsistencies, inaccuracies, or potential error in songs. But I never have to do it in a way that makes it sound like I know everything, or that I understand everything, or that my knowledge makes me more pleasing than others in the sight of God.

In our pursuit of pleasing God, let’s be committed to passionately defending biblical truth with personal holiness and humility. It’s a good indicator that we’re seeking to exalt the Savior rather than our own opinions.

Read the full article here.

Parents appreciation day

2006-04-20T22:38:00.000-04:00

The other day I was sharing with a coworker about a phone conversation I had with my dad. My coworker's comment reminded me how wise my dad is. As I get older I realize more and more how blessed I am to have such godly, wise and loving parents. Even today as I was talking to my roommate I was reminded again what a tremendous gift my parents are from God. It could be a Chinese thing, that while my parents and I are very close, we don't talk on the phone a lot, maybe once a week at most. But everytime I walk away from our phone conversation feeling spiritually recharged. Their counsel always draws me back to the Scripture. They are ever quick to remind me to trust in God, to wait for Him, to be faithful in doing His work, to seek first His kingdom and righteousness. That's basically their advice for every circumstance I bring before them. But how true is it that we are to trust in God, to wait for Him, to seek first His kingdom and His righteousness whatever circumstance we are in!

This godly wisdom they display, I believe, is in part the result of a life filled with trials. Through their trials and their weaknesses God's sufficient grace is evidently shown. As Paul said in 2 Corinthians 1:8-9, "For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead." and again in 4:7, "But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us." That's the fruit I see in my parents' life, humble trust in and reliance upon God.

I don't express my appreciation and my love for my parents enough. That's another Chinese thing, we are not very verbal about our feelings. But I do love my parents very much, and I thank God for them everyday.

In the Secret of His Presence

2006-04-17T23:58:00.000-04:00

In the secret of His presence
How my soul delights to hide!
Oh, how precious are the lessons
Which I learn at Jesus' side!
Earthly cares forever vex me,
All my trials lay me low;
But when Satan comes to tempt me,
To that secret place I go,
To that secret place I go.

When my soul is faint and thirsty,
'Neath the shadow of His wings
There is cool and pleasant shelter,
And a fresh and crystal spring;
And my Savior rests beside me,
As we hold communion sweet.
If I tried, I could not utter
What He says when thus we meet,
What He says when thus we meet.

Only this I know
I tell Him all my doubts, my griefs and fears;
Oh, how patiently He listens!
And my sorrowed soul He cheers.
Do you think He ne'er reproves me?
What a false friend He would be,
If He never, never told me
Of the sin which He must see,
Of the sin which He must see.

Would you like to know the sweetness
Of the secret of the Lord?
Go and hide beneath His shadow.
This shall then be your reward;
And whene'er you leave the silence
Of that happy meeting place,
You will surely bear the image
Of the Master in your face,
Of the Master in your face.

(Words by Ellen Goreh, 1883)

What a beautiful picture of abiding, remaining, resting in Christ, my Lord and my Savior! Would you like to taste the sweetness of communion with Him? Would you like to find that cool and pleasant shelter underneath His wings? Would you like to know the sweetness of the secret of the Lord? Come meet with Him in His Word, where He cheers us, delivers us, teaches us, quenches our thirst, reproves us, speaks to us, and transforms us. Come meet with Him in His Word, the happy meeting place where we will leave bearing the image of the Master in our face.

I sought the Lord, and He answered me
and delivered me from all my fears.
Those who look to Him are radiant,
and their faces shall never be ashamed.
This poor man cried, and the Lord heard him
and saved him out of all his troubles.
The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear Him, and delivers
them.

Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good!
Blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him!
Oh, fear the Lord, you His saints,
for those who fear Him have no lack!
The young lions suffer want and hunger;
but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing.

(Psalm 34:4-10)

Timid walker

2006-04-07T09:04:00.000-04:00

I have no deep and introspective reflection to share today, simply an observation about life in Louisville. I noticed that I've become a timid walker. In fact, I don't walk nearly as much as I should now. Back in Vancouver, I used to walk everywhere, to the bank, Safeway (grocery store), the shops on 10th Ave., the beach, sometimes even to school (UBC). And I loved taking walks in the forest near my house. And yes, pedestrians have the complete right of way! Sidewalks are incomparable, too! Vancouver is perhaps pedestrians' paradise.

Alas! Being in Louisville, I now drive everywhere. I drive to the bank, the mall (which is completely ridiculous, it's not even a 2-minute drive), school, grocery stores, everywhere. And I don't take walks anymore. For one, I can't find a forest with walking trails here in the 'Ville. And more importantly, there's barely any sidewalks!! What's the deal with that? I tried taking a walk the other day, I either almost got hit by cars because I was walking on the street, or I almost stepped doggie's brownie because I had to walk on grass. Oh yes, people here may ask, "Right of way for pedestrians? What's that?" One thing I learned quickly after moving here is that never just step out on the street if I want to cross the street alive. I've become a very timid walker.

How are you doing today?

2006-04-05T21:59:00.000-04:00

Lately whenever people ask me that question I always have to take at least a few seconds to think about my answer. I don't want to give a shallow "fine, thanks". Sometimes I'm really not fine, thanks. But sometimes I'm more than fine. Sometimes I can hardly contain the joy of knowing and experiencing God's grace in my life. More often than not I would say "I'm okay, thanks". Let me expound on that a little.

C.J. Mahaney likes to respond to that question with "better than I deserve". That is certainly how I feel most of the time. Over the past two years God has turned my life upside down. One after another He has brought situations into my life, for His glory and most certainly for my good. And I thank God for these trying times, which certainly feel like trials at times. God has stripped me of things I used to hold dear, things and persons I used to lean on. He has taken one thing/person after another, so that my only choice is to realize that He alone is my strength, my stronghold. I have the habit of building idols in my heart, of making people, including myself, my idols. I was just like Gomer, Hosea's extremely adulterous wife. I looked everywhere else for satisfaction, to have my "needs" (more accurately called "lusts of the heart") fulfilled. I left my God, my first love, to go after other lovers, thinking that they can fulfill my heart's desires, they can supply me with what I need. But it has been God who has been sustaining me all along, who has been keeping me from greater sin (as if the sins I've committed against Him were not grave enough). And now that He has saved me from the dominion of darkness and has made me a branch that is connected to Christ, God the Father has been pruning my life to yield more fruit.

Pruning is not a fun and light process. My sinful nature does not like to be pruned by God. So while being pruned or chastised, my flesh hurts and my pride is crushed. I honestly cannot say "I'm good" while going through trials which I know is God pruning me. I feel like crap (that might be an unChristian word to use) when my fleshly lusts and selfish ambitions are being denied. But I know and I truly believe that everything is happening exactly as God has planned and He is allowing things to pass to mold me into more Christlike submission and obedience to Him.

When I say "I'm okay, thanks", I mean that I'm a sinner saved by grace alone. I'm a forgiven sinner still struggling with sin in the flesh. I'm a saved sinner seeking to please my Lord with whatever I do, say and think, but constantly falling flat on my face. I'm a justified sinner in the process of being pruned, chastised, and sanctified, who still has a long way to go. I'm a sinner truly thankful for trials, who almost wants to ask for trials when times are smooth-sailing, for they have been God's means of grace of keeping me humble before Him and ever dependent upon Him. Who would've ever thought that we could be thankful for trials?

Let's sing hymns!

2006-03-28T21:56:00.000-05:00

I just got back from the community hymn sing at Southern Seminary. Keith and Kristyn Getty, who wrote the contemporary hymn "In Christ Alone", co-led the evening. It was a wonderful time filled with heartfelt hymn singing from children of God in this local community. I must give a hearty "amen" to the Gettys' passion for hymns. They gave two reasons, I'm sure there's more, for why it's good to sing hymns. One is that hymn singing is a tool for teaching people our faith. We sing what we know. Second is hymns can be sung in every generation. Saints of old have written theology and emotion-filled hymns centuries ago and we still sing them today. People like the Gettys are writing hymns, not targeting the contemporary pop culture, but for everyone, young and old.

In this CCM (contemporary Christian music) generation, people forget that singing is also a means of teaching. Someone has once told me that the criticism on CCM has been too harsh. Her point is, what is wrong with people expressing their feelings through songs? That's a valid point. People are entitled the right to express their emotions through songs for sure. However, in my personal opinion Christian music has swung too far to the side of emotionalism. When we sing, we are bound to have emotions (hopefully). But what is stirring these emotions in us? Lines like "I worship You" "Lord, I love You", "I praise You, Lord" can be repeated numerous times in a song. But who are you worshipping? Who is this God you are giving praise to? Why do you love the Lord? You can be singing those lines again and again and feel the emotion of "worship", and yet never have a firm grasp of the God who is the Creator of heaven and earth, the sovereign King, all-wise, etc. You can keep "praising" Him because that's what Christians are supposed to sing and say, or because you feel the emotional urge to praise, and yet never realize the gravity of the sin Christ bore on the cross and the severity of the penalty He undertook, that is, separation from God the Father. You can sing of your love for the Lord. But do you realize His love for us that is so severe and holy, that He even gave His only Son for us?

We do not teach the congregation enough through singing. Songs in a worship service are not just there. They are supposed to be there so people can be fed spiritually with God's word throughout the service. Oh I hope to see that the songs that stick in people's mind are ones that are filled with God's truth that provokes genuine affections within us for Him, for who He is.

It's Easter season. There are tons of songs out there remembering and celebrating the cross, death of Christ and His resurrection. Here is a hymn written by Keith Getty and Stuart Townend that has deeply touched my heart and reminded me of the gospel of Christ. May it encourage you to look to Christ, meditate on His love ultimately manifested in the cross.

The Power of the Cross
words and music by Keith Getty and Stuart Townend

O, to see the dawn
Of the darkest day;
Christ on the road to Calvary.
Tried by sinful men,
Torn and beaten then
Nailed to a cross of wood.

(chorus)
This the power of the cross;
Christ became sin for us.
Took the blame, bore the wrath,
We stand forgiven at the cross.

O, to see the pain
Written on Your face,
Bearing the awsome weight of sin.
Every bitter thought,
Every evil deed
Crowning Your blood-stained brow.

(chorus)

Now the daylight flees;
Now the ground beneath
Quakes as its maker bows His head.
Curtain torn in two,
Dead are raised to life
Finished! the victory cry.

(chorus)

O, to see my name
Written in the wounds,
For through Your suffering I am free.
Death is crushed to death,
Life is mine to live,
Won through Your selfless love!

This the power of the cross;
Son of God slain for us.
What a name, what a cost!
We stand forgiven at the cross.

God's immutability and our mutability

2006-03-21T02:13:00.000-05:00

For seminary students, sleep sometimes is underrated. I need my sleep. Yet my procrastinating nature is keeping me from it by doing things such as writing this post at 2am when I should be frantically writing a paper due at 1:30pm.

Anyway, allow me to share a verse with you that came to me during core seminar this past Sunday. "For I, the Lord, do not change; therefore you, o sons of Jacob, are not consumed." - Malachi 3:6

God is immutable. He does not change in His holiness, righteousness, justice, faithfulness, etc. That is great comfort for me. He remains just, and He will punish evil. At the same time, He remains faithful to His promises. I can have confidence in His faithfulness that He will not one day decide to remove the pardon for sin achieved through Christ and send me back to where I deservedly belong.

At the same time, I am thankful for my mutability. I was dead in sin, but now I'm alive in Christ. I delighted in evil and worshipped idols, but now I hate sin and seek to worship God alone. I was blind, but now I see. I was lost, and now I'm found. Amazing grace...

contemplating on a little book

2006-03-18T12:00:00.000-05:00

One of the most amazing experiences studying at the seminary is being convicted of my sin and brought to awe and worship of God while researching for a paper or sitting in a lecture. who would've thought that one could be brought to tears praising God reading a seemingly dry theology textbook (Doctrine of God by John Frame did it for me)?

I'm reading John Owen's The Mortification of Sin for a research paper. sure enough, it happened again. it convicts me deeply, for it feels as if he was writing exactly to my sinful heart. how often do we think that we've had victory over sin, while in truth we were simply diverting one sin to another outlet. examining my own life, I have been focusing on battling against impatience and discontentment. I've been fighting it because it brings discomfort to my soul, because it causes anguish within me. am I fighting it because God hates it that I distrust His perfect plan and that I put my fleshly desires before His sovereign and good will? am I truly fighting it? or am I simply filling my life with futile activities in an attempt (either conscious or subconscious) to rid the empty feeling?

the lust and sin will be within us until we die or Christ returns. how boastful would we be if we thought we could reach completion by completely mortifying such lust and sin in us! always be on guard, diligently examining our own heart and mind, searching out the root of sin that could erupt into adultery, fornication, idolatry, hatred and heresies if we let it.

have I depressed whoever is reading with such a gloomy path of mortification of sin? sometimes I depress myself contemplating on my inability and constant failure to fight sin. but Owen reassured again and again his readers that he wrote, not for unbelievers, but for those who "did not receive teh spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, 'Abba! Father!'. The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs - heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him." that same Spirit who bears witness that we are children of God, is the same who is the only author for the work of mortification of sin. He only is sufficient for this work. I'll let Owen's own words encourage us.

"This renewing of us by the Holy Ghost, as it is called (Titus 3:5), is one great way of mortification: he causes us to grow, thrive, flourish and abound in those graces which are contrary, opposite, and destructive to all the fruits of the flesh, and to the quiet or thriving of indwelling sin itself."

I did it

2006-03-15T09:50:00.000-05:00

after much lamenting over not being able to comment on people's insightful posts, I finally broke down and got me a blog. I don't know what to write at the moment, since nobody is reading. so I'll stop now.